We’ve talked a lot about the importance of a strong, happy family for your baby. And we’ve talked even more about the foundation of your family . . . you and Dad. So, how do you get there when you’re over tired, figuring out new baby stuff, and trying to navigate the major life changes you’re now living?

You start small.

Obviously, reconnecting with Dad on a carefree weekend getaway, or relaxing over a long dinner and wine at your favorite downtown restaurant is likely out of the question for a while. But it’s important to keep a placeholder on time alone together, and to make it a priority. So, before all the sleepless nights, diaper changes, and endless packing just to make a quick trip to Target take over, sit down with Dad and make a list of all the things you like to do together.

New parents report that already having the list made it just a little bit easier to take a few moments to reconnect once their baby came home. Don’t wait until you’re deep in new baby fog to think up things for your list. At that point, it probably won’t get done and if it doesn’t get done, you’ll be much more likely to blow off its importance.

A good list will have both big and small things on it—anything from a trip to Starbucks together to a weekend in the country. The idea is to have the list written out and posted, so you’re more likely to make doing thing together a priority. And when you make it a priority, your relationship thrives. When your relationship thrives, your baby thrives.

With statistics showing 2/3 of relationships go downhill after the first baby is born, you’ll want to be in the 1/3 that doesn’t.